It seems like it struck rather far away.
Thunder echoed faintly, fadingly.
The lightning rod on the ground shook its head as if to say "I didn't hear that".
Don't hide inside that cloud.
Come down and strike me.
I'm perfectly happy if you're loud about it.
I want a bolt of lighting to open my eyes, to pierce my heart.
I'm the one who's afraid.
On this plain without a single tree,
I have nowhere to hide.
A princess in clown's lipstick kisses you awake from your nap
You dreamers' tickets to your meeting are for a false VIP air force
I don't have time, what time is it? Class starts in five minutes
Don't rush, this is important, I meet you in five minutes
Venus is my neighbor, so why did it sneak up on me
Jesus is sitting right across from me, what do I do?
Here comes his attack, pretending he didn't hear my 'bye-bye'
He shows his shock, this is like a living hell
A wakeup kick for a greeting, my bare feet are always cut up
If you toss the chips in your hand at that girl, you may just sweep her off her feet in three winks
I don't hate you, I just don't like you, I don't know what I'm feeling
Don't wait, this is just a lull, I disappear with you in five minutes
Venus, she's always so lonely, don't look away
Jesus, if you're across from me, please listen
Episode 95 "When You Wish Upon A Star"
Grow the hell up, man.
You gonna do this or no?
What're you getting so tense for?
You're just a chicken!
Ric, you suck!
Gramps!
I'm sorry! My hand just slipped!
It looks like you really have daddy issues.
Yeah. It's pretty tough to get over mental wounds.
That sounds like the kind of thing a little fraidy-man would say.
Anyway, I dunno what your problem is, but ain't you a bit old to be scared of daddy?
C'mon, show your manly Japanese spirit!
Quit doing that!
It's okay!
Everyone's scared of something!
Nino...
Don't worry! Everyone's scared of ghosts, and bugs, and peppers, and their dads.
Peppers? Hate 'em.
Everyone!
What kind of little kid is scared of those!?
Don't worry, Nino! I'll call him later and—
Gimme a break.
You think you can just shrug it off like that?
Who the hell do you think—
Hey Nino!
Ignore this newbie.
Haven't you always, when you really wanted something, wished upon a star?
C'mon! Wish upon a star!
Really?
Shut the hell up, you flake! What gave you the right to talk to her like—
Oh, my, Star!
I never knew you were such a tender romantic!
Aww, shucks.
But really, when you're wishing...
Don't you do it on a shooting star?
All right, shoot!
Okay, Nino.
Be sure to say your wish three times while you can still see the shooting star!
Understood!
Shoot? You mean jump off of here?
I always knew you were all bark, Star.
You—
What was that? Don't tell me you're scared!
You're a real dick, Ric.
Hurry up, Star, show us how manly you are.
What're you so happy about all of a sudden?
Oh, that looks great on you!
Wait, what?
Better two than one.
The more stars of hope, the better, right?
Huh, that's right.
What's wrong, Ric? Scared of heights too?
Gimme a break!
I've already jumped off of here twice!
That's not really anything to be proud of.
All right, go for the third time! You can do it!
Shouldn't you go first? You're the real star, after all.
Or what? You scared?
This is just like a roller coaster!
Plus, I just need to think of Nino! Because I love her!
Really? Then I could jump straight off Roppongi Hills!
Then I'll jump off City Hall!
I'll jump off of Tokyo Tower!
Come on .
Just get on with it.
What lovely twin stars.
Okay, hurry up and wish!
I wish I can stay here with everyone forever.
What!
What's the meaning of this!?
This cancellation of the riverbank renewal project!?
Her wish came true.
Episode 96 "Phenomenon"
Why was it cancelled!?
I'm very sorry, but—
This isn't something you can just apologize away!
Explain yourself!
We'd already confirmed what would happen at the meetings before this competition!
We've got everything done but the actual construction!
Connected...
Well, even if you say so...
What!?
Put the minister on!
The minister's in a meeting—
When will it be over!?
For the rest of my life!
Honestly, he told me not to take any calls from a Mr. Ichinomiya.
What!?
Give me a break! Who do you think you're dealing with!?
Where do you think your funding comes from!?
I'm just an operator, how am I supposed to know?
Anyway. we've run out of things to talk about.
Goodbye!
You're amazing.
Was that good enough, sir?
Yeah.
He said he'd cut off your funding.
Yes, that's okay.
I'll cover it from now on.
Thanks.
Sorry to bother you.
Who was that? I've never seen him before.
It's better not to know.
Why!?
Why did they treat me like that?
Why did this plan fall through?
The feds shouldn't care what happens to this place...
What happened!?
It couldn't be—
What happened, Mr. Ichinomiya!?
I've got this week's report on Ko—
I don't need it!
I'm going out.
Going out!? Don't you have a meeting?
Where are you going? And when do you want the report?
I'm going to the riverbank and getting my report directly.
At the same time, on the riverbank...
Keep on going, over and over!
World conquest, world conquest, world conquest!
Requited love, requited love, requited love!
White lines, white lines, white lines!
Explosion at the lab, explosion at the lab, explosion at the lab!
Venus, Venus, Venus!
The bloody, sweaty meteor cloud continued its fall.
What trick did you use!?
Where did you get that power!?
I won't believe it!
No matter what happens to me physically!
The man
who
never
relies on
anyone
Episode 97 "The man who never relies on anyone's father"
... 's father
I never predicted this.
That a group of eccentric boys would steal my pants the second I set foot on the bridge!
How humiliating!
Why!?
Was this a trick Ko laid for me!?
Damn him! How far will he go to make a fool of me!?
But I won't be moved by something as minor as this.
Even if he expects me to go pull my pants down from there...
I can explain this away as Cool Biz!
A fishing rod?
Hey.
These yours?
You look like you're missing some parts down below.
This girl! She's Ko's—
Your butt's gonna get cold.
No thanks.
Even though they are mine, taking those would go against my family motto!
To never rely on anyone else.
Just like it says on the necktie that's been the birthright of every Ichinomiya firstborn son.
As the head of the family, I have it printed on my boxers too!
Not a lot of people get to see that, you know.
I don't get it, but hey, whatever makes you happy.
Wait, you look and talk just like my lover.
There's no need to mention that.
No, wait... Like when I'd just met him.
There's no need to mention that...
I thought I'd be able to finish this without ever meeting you...
But looking at you like this...
You remind me of her a little bit.
Hey, are you listening?
Of course!
He was like that too, back when we first met.
Whenever I brought him food, he wouldn't shut up about doing something in return.
Of course he did.
You need to want something too. Otherwise it's not fair.
No, it's fair.
When he's full, it feels like I'm full too.
Oh, and...
Wonder if I'll catch anything with these pants?
Lately he's been working really hard for all of us.
I guess I should fish up extra today.
Oh? What kind of work is he doing?
I guess I may as well gather more information before I meet Ko...
To tell you the truth, we're probably going to be chased out of our home.
He's trying to stop that.
Right now, he's risking his life...
What's going on? She's talking like they haven't solved their problem yet.
You can even see it from here.
See how hard my lover is working.
From right here?
What on earth could he—
He decided he'd be the brightest star, and risk himself to fulfill everyone's wishes.
Look at his bravery!
Is there something wrong with your eyes?
Episode 98 "A Father's Feelings"
All right, the real stars are coming out!
That means you wannabes can go away now.
If I'm just a fake, why are you still hanging me?
Wow, it's chilly!
Stars are cold, duh.
Wrong, Stella! It's cold because it's a fake!
I guess!
My mask!
You've been so rough on the mask that it's losing its color.
Well, well. With no mask on you're just a random perv.
My body hurts all over and I'm cold.
Heat yourself up with these.
Like that'd work!
Why are you being so self-centered?
Mr. Rope had the worst of it.
You need to thank Mr. Rope for going out of his way to tie up a pig like you.
Kneel down in front of the cookies you rejected.
You're still on about that!?
Isn't that enough, Maria?
Shut up, cookie bitch.
All right! Put your heart into apologizing for your existence!
Apologize to the cookies, too!
You too!?
He's running away!
My mask smells like someone else.
Is it possible that Ko and the residents don't know they've been saved?
Then that means Ko didn't foil my plans.
What the—
Wait, Ric, are you trying to run away?
I kinda have something important to do!
Over here, Ric! Follow the white line!
Get out of my way!
What was I thinking when I assumed he had the power to outwit me?
He can't even call me to object.
This is a waste of time.
I'll have Shimazaki check it out when I get back.
Hey, you leaving? What about your pants?
Do whatever you want with them.
I'm in a hurry.
Goodbye.
Your pants are singing!
That's a ringtone!
Can I really do whatever I want with these?
A melody I hadn't heard once since I set it...
It's a phone? Don't you have to answer it?
I mustn't answer the phone that you retrieved for me.
You can answer it. I never intended to waste my time on him anyway.
You sure?
Farewell.
It may seem soft, warm, and gentle...
There we go!
But like cotton soaking up water...
It will get heavier and heavier.
So heavy you can't stand.
Will you be able to bear that to the end?
If you can, show me!
If you can do what I couldn't!
Would you mind coming back to—
Very well!
Book 'em, Danno!
Say no more!
Episode 99 "Conclusion"
Here?
No, that's not it. Here?
No good! I should've asked him how to answer it...
Dad?
Thanks for picking up.
Please don't hang up!
Wait, that's no good...
To get right to the point...
How do I talk!?
I've gotta find Ric!
Even if we can't live under the bridge anymore because of this...
Still!
I'm going to stay with Nino forever!
So... So it won't work!
No matter what you have planned!
Even I...
That's right.
Let's stay together forever.
Nino... How did you—
Hey, Ric! How do you answer a cell phone?
You already— Wait, whose phone is that?
Why are they connected?
You're right!
That means I just—
Some old guy passing by gave it to me.
He gave me the pants he was wearing, too.
That was just a random pervert!
Thirty minutes later, the MLIT called Ric to inform him that construction under the bridge had been cancelled.
And...
Are you satisfied yet?
Why are you acting all high and mighty sitting there in your boxers!?
An hour later, Shimazaki came to bail Ric's father out.
That day, on the playground
We laughed without a reason
On my journey to pick up the pieces of my love
For some reason I'm always so lonely
I've got to get going, before the sky falls
Everything's in reverse, and I'm searching for you
Even though we're never going to arrive
Standing under the bridge, borne on the waves
We'll always be looking for an answer
Episode 100 "Arakawa Gag Training"
All right, you all ready?
Let's start the impression training!
Excuse me!
What?
I can't do impressions at all.
Don't worry, Ric.
That's why you're training.
Plus, we're starting off with the basics this time.
The basics?
Yeah, we're starting with imitating the noises small animals make.
Oh, just that?
All right, go ahead, Ric.
Me first?
Relax, Ric, Relax.
Okay...
Clear your mind, Ric!
Just put your heart into what the Mayor gives you!
Okay!
What's my subject?
Okay, the noises small animals make. This is simple, I can do it.
Subject
Your subject!
Con Cheo
Con
The con cheo!
Cheo
Con Cheo
What the hell is that!?
I'm looking forward to his con cheo.
Ric! It's a con cheo!
Come on, con cheo!
Hey hey, con cheo! Hey hey, Ric!
An, er, con—
Con cheo! Also known as the Java deer mouse!
I don't know either of those!
Don't think about it, Ric! Go with what feels right!
Okay, um.
The cry of the con cheo...
Here goes!
He really doesn't have any talent for impressions.
A giant robot suddenly appeared on the peaceful banks of the Arakawa!
The bridge, and everyone's homes, are destroyed!
Next time, 13 Bridge!
Red Venusian, Blue Venusian, Golden Venusian!
What's with the preview-like preview all of a sudden now!?
Wait, you were just talking in your sleep!?
Illustration: Yana Toboso